so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
