Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
