I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
