Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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