You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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