I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
