Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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