Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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