I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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