READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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