you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize