Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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