she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
