I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
