You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
