btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
