Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
