I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
home. puking in laundry basket.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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