think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
