lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
