Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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