I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize