I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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