nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
