What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
