It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
