can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
