and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
