Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
