Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
