Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
