I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
