Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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