just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
