he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just threw up on my dentist
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
