is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize