I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
