porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
