new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
