He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
