Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
