I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
