Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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