i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize