This is not my ceiling
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
