Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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