I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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