Got a toothbrush?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
