I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
