So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think my mom watched the whole time
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
