This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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