we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He shit in the fireplace
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
