hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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