Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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