The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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