I want to walk on stilts...naked
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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