The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
