Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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