Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
