omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
